Do you ever feel like time just passes by in a blur or a haze? You're moving so fast that you don't even get a chance to stop and notice what is actually happening to you.
That's what happened to me this past couple of months.
Stick with me through this long-ish post...
Over the last two months, I found myself first battling some health issues, then being pulled back into full time work in an industry I swore I would never go back to.
Anyone else out there have to eat their words on something similar? Asking for a friend...
In any event, I worked my butt off. It was stressful on me both emotionally and physically. I thought about quitting at least 72,000 times a day.
I fought with people I love dearly.
I was starting to turn back into a version of myself I proudly left behind.
But there was something telling me I had to keep going. I had to keep DOING because something good was going to come from it.
I started to doubt that with each passing day.
•The money wasn't great.
•The hours were longer than I wanted.
•I wasn't making the connections I was convinced I would make
•I didn't have the time for self-care in a way that truly fueled me
•I was in pain, exhausted, and pretty much a shadow of myself
Yet... there were moments. There were glimpses throughout that what I was doing was going to pay off in some way.
There was the opportunity to teach yoga to a community of people challenged by addiction (a truly fulfilling experience I'll speak to another day).
There was the pair of elderly couples who chatted with me for the entirety of their two hour meal and then told me to both
"Reach through the sky, because the stars aren't high enough,"
and that I "truly enhanced every moment of their dining experience."
These were the reminders I needed.
I wasn't JUST a server/bartender.
I hadn't been pulled into a dead end (for me) life.
I was doing what I always said I would – immersing myself in an atmosphere that allowed me to:
And by doing those things and recognizing the things I GOT to do, rather than HAD to do, it did eventually pay off.
In my final days, I was asked for my business card more than 10 times.
I had my services and retreats passed on to more people than even I realize.
I got to teach people 20 years younger than myself about things ranging from:
•breathing through panic attacks
•social media strategy
•ways to incorporate healthy eating habits even during the busiest of times
•how to work a job knowing that it's just a stepping stone on your path to what you're truly passionate about
•how to release things that aren't serving you
•how to get creative with your personality and your gifts
And I did these things while making drinks and slinging kids' cheeseburgers.
What am I trying to get at here?
Honestly, I think I'm still figuring that out.
A couple of things I know.
1. You can truly shine no matter where you are, as long as you reframe your perspective on what you're doing and WHY
2. NEVER, EVER Let go of your self-care. Find a way to fit in the practices that make you the best version of yourself.
3. When you have the chance to jump into a gorgeous pool after everyone has gone, don't even bother to take your clothes off. Jump in and bask in the knowledge that:
YOU ARE AWESOME
YOU ARE WORTHY
YOU ARE A SHINING STAR
YOU ARE WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH