I Am Master of My Own World
No matter how much I want this to be true and believe this to be true, it can be hard to see it when things get rough. There are always external circumstances and forces that can make us forget how much control we actually have. In these moments, it can feel like we are slaves to our surroundings, rather than the boss of them. This pandemic has only enhanced those feelings for some of us.
I am no different. I have had moments in which I can't seem to get a grip on anything. I flounder. I am lost. I am lethargic. I am unmotivated. I am confused. I am stressed. I am fatigued. Does feeling these things make me less a master of my own world though? I don't think so.
In these instances of uncertainty and instability, I choose to notice what I'm feeling and I try not to judge. Easier said than done, for sure. Even as I write this, there is a little voice inside of me saying, "Diamando, you have spent countless hours blindly watching television and scrolling through social media. You're no expert."
I'm not an expert. I'm just a human being, like everyone else.
That being said, I feel confident in expressing that my humanity is a vivid part of me. It is something that can't be denied or ignored. My perceived weaknesses are actually my strengths, and that's incredibly empowering.
So how did I get to this place of comfort within chaos? It wasn't an easy journey. It involved a lot of hard work and reflection. I also wouldn't have been able to achieve any of it if I didn't have a strong support system. Friends, family, colleagues, therapists, coaches and mentors have been a big part of my personal transformation.
I am master of my own world, but my world is filled with people and things that give me permission to own myself, faults and all.
Being present in whatever is happening is a scary thing. It's easy to try to distract yourself. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on your perspective), being aware means that you can never truly be distracted. Through all the classes I've taken, long walks I've gone on, books I've read, yoga trainings I’ve done, one thing has remained constant. I am there. I am in it. I am not only doing, I am being.
As I come to this realization and try to express it for others, I find that I can offer a few words of wisdom and tips that have helped me. I hope they will help you as well.
Don't compare. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't compare yourself to how you were yesterday. Don't compare yourself to how you want to be tomorrow or next week or ten years from now. Your journey is your own, and where you land in it each day is completely individual to you. That is your beauty and your power.
Don't judge. This is a tough one, but it's so important. When you feel yourself judging someone else or yourself, take a moment to pause. Breathe. Center yourself and come back to the present. You are master of your own world, but you are not master of anyone else's. You can only control your own actions and reactions. When you let g