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How do I Change Something About Myself That Is No Longer Serving Me?

Updated: Jan 10, 2021

If you're here looking for an easy answer to this question, you're in the wrong place. The truth is, there is no easy answer. That being said, I want to congratulate you for acknowledging that something isn't working. That's a huge step.

Seriously though, it's HUGE. Many of us wander through life completely oblivious to just about everything. Having the ability to recognize that there is a quality in yourself you would like to work on is literally you pulling yourself out of the Matrix and taking action. That's pretty freaking awesome.

This article is a follow-up to a previous blog post about my tone of voice challenges. I recommend you read that one here.

So here you are, confronted with a really big issue. You know that there is a problem that is holding you back, but you don't know how to fix it. The first thing I would like to recommend is that we rename a couple of things.

Let's try changing the word "problem," to "challenge." Next let's change the word "fix," to "clarify." We are now faced with a challenge we would like to clarify. That seems much more manageable. It also feels a lot kinder. It's so important to be kind with ourselves when we are in a vulnerable state.

I am currently in the throes of dealing with one of two of these challenges, so I'll use this article to delve into how I'm going to clarify them for myself.

Challenge #1: I tend to lose my motivation when I'm in a relationship. I focus a lot less on my own goals and instead fall into a co-dependent fantasyland. This generally leads to my heart being crushed, or at the very least bruised, and me falling behind on the things that are really important to me.

Challenge #2: I sometimes give up if I'm not seeing immediate results. Patience is a virtue that I possess only when it's detrimental to me (see above). As I am currently in the throes of a brand new business, I am facing this challenge every. single. day.

All right, so I have labeled my challenges. Now what? I'm going to start with four thin