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Friendship is a Job- Revisited

Updated: Nov 19, 2020

This evening, I decided to take a look at some articles I have published on other sites to see if there was anything relevant to this forum. Not surprisingly, a lot of it was. I mean, I wrote it all and I write all of these, so it was only fitting.

I've decided to share one that really resonates with me this evening. After a weekend running my first online retreat, I definitely had a lot of time to reflect on friendship, supports, and community.

Some of that reflection has been positive in an overwhelming way. Some of it has been negative in an informative and motivating way.

Regardless, community is more important than ever.

This article (previously published on Medium) gives some easy tips for maintaining and expanding yours.

GOLIVE Spartan Friendship Steps

Published May 28, 2020 on Medium

This morning I woke up and made a list of 25 of my friends. I thought it would be an easy task. I mean, I have nearly 2,000 Facebook friends, at least some of those must actually be people I would call a friend outside the realm of social media. Yet as I put pen to paper, the task was harder than I thought it would be.

I immediately was able to list about ten- no brainer. I then added in family members who I also consider to be friends. Then I hit a road block. I scrolled through my phone to look at my most recent texts and realized I had left off some of the people I talk to the most. These people then reminded me of others. I stopped myself with a healthy list of 27 names; actual people with whom I have regular conversations and entrust my mental sanity when I need a check-in (which is more often than I would like to admit).

Looking at those names was a wake up call for me. In a time when 99% of my interactions are through a computer screen, true friendship is necessary. It’s easy to forget about this when you’re inundated with day to day activities like a job or a gym or a daily subway ride. It’s easy to think that you’re having meaningful and fulfilling human interaction without really getting to the deeper levels that true friendship provides. Without those distractions however, staying in touch with the people who help you be you is more important than it ever has been.

It was an interesting exercise writing down those names. If someone had asked me three months ago to tell them about even ten of my friends, my list would have looked much different than it did this morning. I excluded people from my list of 27 who I never would have thought to exclude in the past. Yet isolation and introspection have forced me to take stock of relationships and truly evaluate which of them are enhancing my life. People who only reach out when they n