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Wait for It...?
Are you ready to take a leap? Most times when we ask ourselves that question, the answer is “not yet.” We come up with millions of excuses. Here are a few I’ve said to myself:
1. I just need to save a little money first
2. If I had a partner, I would totally do it
3. I don’t have the skills perfected
4. I will probably fail so why try?
5. It’s too hard right now
Does any of this sound familiar?
If so, I’ve been there. We have all been there.The simple truth is, there will never be a perfect time to go after what you want. The other simple truth? The worst thing that can happen is that you fail.
Here's a funny thing about failure. It doesn’t really exist. Something you view as failure can easily be viewed as a lesson. It’s just more information you will have in your tool belt. In essence, failure is success.
It can be challenging to view what someone might view as a failure as something other than that. There have been many times in my life when I have set out with a goal in mind only to have life smack me in the face with the inability to achieve it.
Here are some examples of my perceived failures followed by how I now view them so they feel to me as big wins.
FAILURE #1: When I started my olive oil business, I faced a lot of challenges. Many people viewed me as an outsider and put road blocks in my way. It also didn't help that I am a woman in what is predominantly a male industry. My first year in business, I got involved with some people who didn't have my best interests at heart. I lost $17,000 on my first olive oil shipment.
REFRAME #1: Losing that money taught me a lot of valuable lessons. I learned that I had to be more careful who I chose to do business with. I learned that I had some work to do in regards to my own self-confidence and fear of success. I also learned that I was capable of coming back from a huge financial loss in record time. I worked my butt off for a year, taking on two full-time jobs. I dug myself out of that debt in 12 months. I came out of that experience a stronger, more knowledgeable woman. That's a success.
FAILURE #2: I had my sights set on a promotion at work. I was deserving of the position and had the skills to do it. My bosses didn't feel the same way. They let me do the job, basically for free, until they eventually hired a man to the position. They then had me help in training him. It felt like a huge failure on my part.
REFRAME #2: About three months after I didn't get the promotion, I found that every time I stepped into work, I was miserable. I had to figure out a way to come out of the loss as a winner. After a lot of reflection, I decided to ask for payment for the "free" work I had done. This was the first time I asserted myself in a positive way in order to negotiate compensation for my worth. You know what? I got a hefty sum. I may not have gotten the job, but I put myself in a position where I gained more respect than I ever had at work. Plus, I respected myself more. That's a success.
FAILURE #3: I was in a long-term relationship that ended badly. There were trust issues and betrayal and I found myself with a broken heart. It took me a long time to heal from the pain, but I eventually did. When I found myself back in touch with this man, though, I decided that he and I had both changed enough to give it another try. A month later, he betrayed me again and went back to the woman he had left me for. Again, I had failed.
REFRAME #3: This loss was a tough one. I had been so proud of the progress I had made on myself. I was convinced that I would never fall into the same traps I had so many times in my past. Then I had a realization- I hadn't. I had grown so much that I had learned true forgiveness. The fact that he hadn't grown wasn't my fault and I had no control over it. I only had control over myself, and I knew I had behaved with a an open heart and a clear mind. I made an incredibly fast recovery and was able to move on with love in my heart for myself and well wishes to him. That's a success.
Being able to shift perspective doesn't happen right away and it isn't always easy. Also, sometimes you can't get it done on your own. That's why therapists and coaches are so important. Curious what a little positive encouragement and planning can do for you? Reach out here for a free 20-minute conversation about your goals.
Here is my number one piece of advice to get you going. Understand that there is ALWAYS a positive spin. It might take you a minute to figure it out, but it's there. Feel confident in the knowledge that failure doesn't really exist. If you believe in that, nothing can stop you.
What have you been holding off on doing? Now is the time to take that first step. You already have everything you need.